UPS Motto Contest
UPS needs a motto. If you have a good idea, email it to user 'greeng3' at the host 'rpi.edu'.
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We already have your money, so shut your cakehole.
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At UPS, we spell "Ooops!" with a "U".
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Even if we can't manage to lose it, we can at least smash it flat.
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With our state-of-the-art tracking system, we can be completely sure we've lost your package.
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UPS, when it abolutely positively doesn't have to get there at all.
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We picked it up, so now you want us to drag it all the way to someone else's house, too?
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There's nothing we can't lose.
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Need to hide a body where it'll never be found? No problem - just ship it UPS Ground!
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The Golden Rule: The Customer is Always Right... A Right Big Annoyance to Our Phone Staff for Complaining and Pointing Out Our Shortcomings.
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UPS, The Best Package Displosal Service Money Can Buy.
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We take criminals off the streets, and provide them with direct access to your valuables in a heated comfortable environment.
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Did you know that your package makes a better karate workout device than a professional quality heavy bag?
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UPS: Unparalleled Poor Service!
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U Poor Sap
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We deliver for "them."
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Unimaginable Package Sinkhole
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Pay our rates and wait
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RULE: All handguns must be shipped OVERNIGHT. REASON: We cannot hire honest employees, so we don't want your valuable items around them.
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UPS: Where handguns must be shipped overnight to make them harder for our employees to steal.
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Hey, at least we're not Airborne Express!
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The UPS Overnight Air Guarantee: We guarantee your package will be surrounded by air by the second day.
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Overnight Saver Guarantee: "There is no guarantee." Sadly, this is actually the guarantee.
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Well, we are generally better than the Post Office.
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Our brown trucks are generally clean.
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At least we are no longer an Olympic Sponsor.
